www.AsianJournal.ca<\/a>).<\/p>\n <\/p>\n
This week, on Wednesday evening, hundreds of people attended a memorial and candlelight vigil on the lawn of Surrey\u2019s Vedic Hindu Cultural Society. Newton-North Delta MP Jinny Sims, former MP Sukh Dhaliwal, NDP Leader Adrian Dix and several NDP and Liberal MLAs were also present.
\nThere was a lot of anger and disgust expressed against a Punjabi radio station that is alleged to have said that the victim provoked her husband to commit the dastardly murder.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
As usual, there are unconfirmed versions of what led the estranged husband to kill his wife. But a report from Rajpura, Punjab, in the Indian newspaper The Tribune of Chandigarh alleged that the victim\u2019s in-laws used to harass her for dowry, including a portion of their agricultural land. The newspaper said: \u201cRavinder had planned to leave Surrey and come back to her parents in Rajpura next month. Family members said she had even bought tickets for the flight.\u201d<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
Samra said although she didn\u2019t know what factors were at play here in terms of the alleged killer\u2019s mental state, it is important to keep in mind that men can also experience a sense of shame or betrayal when their wives leave them because of the belief that South Asian society inculcates into people that \u201ca marriage, no matter what, has to work.\u201d But, Samra noted, \u201cSome relations get to a point where it\u2019s just simply intolerable for individuals and I think we need to start to reduce the shame and stigma for both parties when there is a divorce or a separation.\u201d<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
She said that it\u2019s easy for people to make assumptions about the situation and, unfortunately, as a society, we are more willing to blame the woman rather than the man for the situation. She noted: \u201cPeople make statements like \u2018If she hadn\u2019t left him or if she had worked on the relationship, perhaps this wouldn\u2019t have happened.\u2019\u201d She added: \u201cIndirectly what you are doing is blaming the victim for the crime.\u201d Samra also pointed out that drugs and alcohol can play a big role in domestic violence. She warned that they can impair our decision-making and people end up committing acts that they wouldn\u2019t have otherwise.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
Samra said that parents need to educate their daughters and sons about these issues. First of all, they need to give them the message that, no matter what, violence is never appropriate in a relationship. She added: \u201cIt\u2019s basically teaching respect issues.\u201d<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
She said that parents and families should be able to let people know: \u2018Look, if there are some things happening in a relationship, there\u2019s help you can get, there\u2019s support you can get; don\u2019t ever feel that you need to hide something that\u2019s of this level and magnitude.\u2019<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
She added: \u201cAnd I think that goes a long way towards people feeling that if they need to get help, they can before anything gets to this extreme level.\u201d<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
Copyright 2010 All Rights Reserved SWMediaGroup<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
(by Rattan Mall, Asian Journal) Simon Fraser University clinical psychologist Dr. Joti Samra says that someone who commits a horrific act like the murder of his wife often has a history of domestic violence. Samra told the Asian Journal that domestic murders are \u201coften the culmination of a long history of abusive behaviours,\u201d […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":4,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"","_et_pb_old_content":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[8],"tags":[158,232,233],"class_list":["post-1725","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-articles","tag-asian-journal","tag-domestic-abuse","tag-violence-against-women"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/staging.drjotisamra.com\/wp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1725","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/staging.drjotisamra.com\/wp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/staging.drjotisamra.com\/wp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/staging.drjotisamra.com\/wp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/4"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/staging.drjotisamra.com\/wp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1725"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/staging.drjotisamra.com\/wp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1725\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":6815,"href":"https:\/\/staging.drjotisamra.com\/wp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1725\/revisions\/6815"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/staging.drjotisamra.com\/wp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1725"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/staging.drjotisamra.com\/wp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1725"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/staging.drjotisamra.com\/wp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1725"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}